This is Curtis, into off-the-wall headgear and one of an exclusive list of children who have been awarded the Nellybert Seal of Approval.
Long Tom Hat
This is Curtis, into off-the-wall headgear and one of an exclusive list of children who have been awarded the Nellybert Seal of Approval.
The Greatest Story Ever Told
Hey Bert! Guess what movie we're getting from Lovefilm?
What?
Guess! It rhymes with guess.
Kes?
No! Tess!
Tess! Again? We've seen it twice already.
Yes but that was Gemma Arterton and Justine Waddell. This is the Polanski one. Natassja Kinski.
But sure we know what happens.
Who cares. It's the greatest story ever told.
Huh!
In Which Bert Goes All Unity Mitford
Bert asked this question,
I thought for a moment, then answered,
I knew what he'd say.
So there would be Bert hanging out in a brown sitting room with Hitler, trying to pretend he wasn't giving Eva the eye and listening to Wagner and there would be me sitting in Paris in a cork lined and gloomy bedroom talking to the wee man in the bed about life, the universe and everything. Sheesh. We need to get a life!
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If you could spend a day with anyone living or dead, who would you choose?
I thought for a moment, then answered,
Proust.
Would you?
What about you? who would you choose?
I knew what he'd say.
Hitler.
Why so?
I'm not saying I like him. It's just that he wasn't in it for the power. The rest of them were in it for the power but Hitler - he really believed in it. I'd just like to get an idea of what he was about.
So there would be Bert hanging out in a brown sitting room with Hitler, trying to pretend he wasn't giving Eva the eye and listening to Wagner and there would be me sitting in Paris in a cork lined and gloomy bedroom talking to the wee man in the bed about life, the universe and everything. Sheesh. We need to get a life!
Friday Again
Since I went on this three day week I have discovered that Monday still feels like Monday - a bit urrrgh. You'll know what I mean.
But Tuesday now feels like Wednesday with less of a long haul feel about it.
Wednesday is my new Friday but with one disadvantage. Previously on Fridays, if some task did not get completed I did not worry overmuch as I knew no one would mind until Monday came around. But now I feel that I have to complete as much as I can on Wednesdays because people will expect things to move on even if I am away from the office playing with Miss Martha and Rolling With The Pigs. So Wednesday afternoons are slightly more stressful than Friday afternoons. Still - it's a small price to pay.
Cheers!
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But Tuesday now feels like Wednesday with less of a long haul feel about it.
Wednesday is my new Friday but with one disadvantage. Previously on Fridays, if some task did not get completed I did not worry overmuch as I knew no one would mind until Monday came around. But now I feel that I have to complete as much as I can on Wednesdays because people will expect things to move on even if I am away from the office playing with Miss Martha and Rolling With The Pigs. So Wednesday afternoons are slightly more stressful than Friday afternoons. Still - it's a small price to pay.
Cheers!
Rolling With The Pigs
Swear to God! That Miss Silly! All I said was - come on out with me, let's say goodnight to the pigs. You can take a picture of me, if it's good I might use it as my new profile pic. So we did and she did.
Then in the office this morning I hear this report.
That Nelly. You should have seen her. Rolling about the floor with those pigs in their shit and everything.
Now Miss Silly let me tell you this. Pigs are clean. We were in their sleeping area. No shit. Lily and Rusty are probably cleaner than we are.
Don't know about the profile pic though. They say people get to look like their pets and it seems I'm definitely developing a bit of a kune kune double chin. At least I don't have piri piri. Not yet anyway.
I Feel Alright
This morning, while waiting for Matty's discharge from Antrim Area Hospital, I 'fell till' the floors. Every single room in the house tidied, hoovered and mopped for the first time since the pup came. You'd want to be chasing that wee brute around with a mop and a bucket of Jeyes Fluid and up until today it has been maintenance only. Today all floors pristine and gleaming at the same time for at least half an hour.
Nellybert sits down to a lunch of Polish Shop Packet Soup and some rather elderly bagels (waste not, want not) and we're listening to music. My choice.
*The wax in Bert's ears is feeling happier as Mozart is playing now.
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Nellybert sits down to a lunch of Polish Shop Packet Soup and some rather elderly bagels (waste not, want not) and we're listening to music. My choice.
Bert: Who is that oul' cunt anyway?
Nelly: Junior Kimbrough.
Bert: D'ye see if he was in that room in there, playing that, I would go in there and catch him by the scruff of the neck and hoil him out into the yard. And I'd say to him, 'See here Mr Kimball, take yourself and your instruments and the rest of it and clear out!'
Nelly: Kimbrough. And if he was in that room in there playing that you'd be standing in the doorway with your mouth hanging open in amazement at how brilliant he is.
Bert: Dam sure I wouldn't. I actually find that hard to listen to. It hurts my ears.
Nelly: Maybe if you got the wax* cleared out of your ears it would help. The bass notes are probably making it reverberate and that's what is hurting them.
*The wax in Bert's ears is feeling happier as Mozart is playing now.
There Are Many Ways To Put In An Evening
Bert: You've been out lying with those pigs again, haven't you?
Nelly: So what if I was? How d'ye know anyway?
Bert: You're all covered with straw up your back.
Nelly: So! What if I am?
Bert: Did they like it?
Nelly: No! They were raging at me disturbing their sleep. The tomatoes I brought them hardly made up for it.
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Nelly: So what if I was? How d'ye know anyway?
Bert: You're all covered with straw up your back.
Nelly: So! What if I am?
Bert: Did they like it?
Nelly: No! They were raging at me disturbing their sleep. The tomatoes I brought them hardly made up for it.