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Sometimes Google Is Just No Help


This morning I went for a walk in the Glens with Nez and Fly. Nez knows the name of all of the hills and has tramped over the most of them. Fly likes to run the drains and culverts but then he is a water dog. While we were out I found myself remembering all the times I'd spent in the Glens as a child.

Our parents would pile us into the car, Matty would have made sandwiches or maybe a ween of wee currant buns. We'd go to the beach, usually Waterfoot or Cushendall, and sometimes Daddy would park up on the way down and we'd run down to one of the streams that ran through the Glens and play in the water and jump from stone to stone and eat our picnic there. Sometimes I thought I liked the river better than the beach.

During my childhood there was a landslide in one of the Glens that made headline news on local television. Those were the days when events in Northern Ireland didn't regularly make the national or international news and this event was very notable. If I remember it correctly some livestock was lost, a cottage was swept away and a farmer had a narrow escape. Some time afterwards Daddy drove us down to look at the aftermath. I remember seeing the brown earth and boulders where the grass, plants and trees had been.

But I cannot remember where it was and an hour or more of research on Google has not made me any wiser. It would have been sometime in the 1960s. Anybody out there who might have an idea when and where it happened?

But anyways - my research turned up the BBC archive site and I found this clip of a 1964 Fleadh Cheoil in Clones. There are quite a few well known musicians playing including Luke Kelly and Andy Irvine. They'd only have been in their early twenties then. Luke's long away but Bert went to see Andy Irvine in Ballymoney last week. It's worth a look if you like that sort of thing.
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Cheffing

A while back Hannah's boyfriend Raymond bought a raffle ticket for a children's charity and won a chef! Well what he actually won was a three course meal for two prepared by a chef in the winner's own home. They are a cunning pair young Raymondo and the Banana and I guess they knew they'd have to give their kitchen a serious cleaning so they wangled it that Willy (the chef) would prepare a three course meal for four in Nellybert's kitchen. So on Saturday past Bert gave the kitchen a wide berth while I cleaned and decluttered. I reckoned chefs need plenty of room and if they don't get it they'd be all shouty.

Anyway the time came, the kitchen was fairly presentable and the chef rocked up with a box of ingredients and knives and things. The knives looked pretty sharp and I was glad I'd made the surfaces shiny and empty for him. I don't know why I worried myself. He was pretty easy-going and not a bit shouty. After a wee test run of the cooker he got started on the meal and didn't even seem to mind that the cats kept going to sleep in his box of knives and things.

Bert naps between courses.

What can I say? The meal was delicious and enjoyable. Maybe the best bit, apart from the monkfish in orange sauce, was watching how he worked. The more he cooked the cleaner the kitchen got. And he only used a tiny part of the kitchen surfaces. If I'd been preparing a three course meal the kitchen would be like a battlefield. I decided that I'd have to make more of an effort in future to clean as I go.


Fred eats monkfish tail

Afterwards I told Bert this and he said,

Haven't I been saying that to you for years?

Huh?

Haven't you ever watched me cook? I clean as I go. I don't use every saucepan in the house. I don't leave a big mess behind me.

Bert you can't even make a cup of coffee without spilling milk and/or water on the surfaces and the floor and you always leave the cupboard doors open. When you baked that cake the other evening the minute you had it in the oven you walked off for a smoke telling me to keep an eye on it and leaving me to put away the mixer and wash all the dishes.

Not true!

True!

I cooked a two course meal for Zoe and the family this evening. I attempted to recreate Willy's bed of curly kale cooked with smoked bacon and was determined to better his apple crumble. The curly kale recipe still needs work but I succeeded with a pear crumble made with fresh ginger. Bert made yummy gravy (we had a pork shank) to which he added Willy's secret ingredient and then he made yummy custard.

And what of the clean as you go? I didn't do too badly at all and the clearing up after we'd eaten was minimal. It included wiping up the cornflour Bert spilled down the front of the cooker while the dogs cleaned up the custard he spilled on the floor.

To be fair though he's the boy who cleans out the chicken house, the pig sty and the cattle shed. What's a bit of cornflour compared to that?
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Saving Teddy From The Flames

Are you sentimentally attached to this old bear or shall I throw him out?


Ach! Throw him out.


Are you sure? Would you like me to open the fire door right now and burn him in front of you?


Bert goes silent. Then answers,


No I wouldn't like that.

Teddy must be at least 50 years old. He is a bit disgusting and his stuffing (whatever that is) appears to have atrophied inside his body. He's as flat as a pancake and not a pretty sight.

Hannah and I decide to perform emergency surgery.

The stuffing is pretty horrible. Bert thought it was sawdust but it seems to be some sort of foam rubber and it has undergone a chemical change. By rights this bear should be blazing in the fire.

Yucky stuff. It sticks on our fingers. We decide that no child must ever come in contact with this hazardous bear or, at least, not until they've had all their injections.

We stuff him with old cut up purple tights. It takes four pairs! And Teddy is still still pretty flat.

But at least Bert is pleased.
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Well Hello!

Some things I like very much about this new template and they are...

  • I have followers! Who knew?
  • It is really easy to add people to my links list. This is something that I have neglected for a long time because it was such a tedious task.
  • I now go to my blog to check up on who is updating and it is a much pleasanter place to do so than dull old Google Reader.
All good - so far.
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Early To Bed, Early To Rise

As 2011 wore on I found myself getting into the unfortunate habit of sleeping far too late. This was not good. One sluggard (Bert) in our family is more than enough. Setting the alarm for a sensible time did not work for me. Unless I really had to get up I rolled over for another snooze. My getting up time was creeping towards ten o'clock and sometimes after ten! So I devised this cunning plan. I would set my alarm for 8:30am. If, the next morning, I obeyed its call, on the next night I would set it one minute earlier and if I had been slugabed it would stay at the previous night's setting. Today I got up at 7:59am. If all continues to go well I will be jumping out of bed at seven o'clock by the 24th March which which just happens to be one day before British Summer Time when the clock goes forward one hour.


So what will happen then? I'll have to let you know. But my ultimate plan is to be getting up at six o'clock. And then I shall be healthy, wealthy and wise.


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At Last

The title of this post is in no way inspired by the demise of the late, great Etta James.

Rather it introduces a long overdue new lay out for the Garden. Hope y'all don't hate it too much.
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